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Lindsay Lohan is falling over herself to collect her comeback award

<center><img alt="Lindsay Lohan is falling over herself to collect her comeback award" src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/7/24/1406214348054/Lindsay-Lohan-009.jpg" width="650" /></center>The press has speculated about what caused the actor to fall over at the Ischia film festival. Perhaps it was the surprise of being recognised for such 'classics' as The Canyons and Scary Movie 5. 
 
There are moments when, in Lost in Showbiz's eyes, the media sorely lets itself down, where the real story is missed in pursuit of tacky sensationalism. Let us take, for example, Lindsay Lohan's recent visit to Italy. There was, as you may recall, a great deal of coverage of the fact that the troubled actor stumbled and fell over at one point, complete with much lurid speculation about the role alcohol may have had to play. But scarcely a word about what Lohan was in Italy for. 
 
It seems all the more remarkable when you learn that she was there for the Ischia film festival. And not merely as a guest, but as the recipient of an award: an award for Comeback of the Year. Lost in Showbiz has a terrible feeling that reporters skirted around this issue in fear of mockery, cruel voices suggesting that Lohan really hasn't had any kind of cinematic comeback whatsoever, and that a minor film festival has made up an award in order to give it to her, thus whipping up some much- needed publicity. 
 
Lost in Showbiz knows better. Who can look at Lohan's recent work and not take the Ischia film festival's point? Scary Movie 5. The Canyons, winningly described by its own scriptwriter, Bret Easton Ellis, as "an hour 30 and it seems like it's three hours long". InAPPropriate Comedy, a satire directed by a man best known for appearing on infomercials – that's right, a US equivalent of a film directed by Barry Scott of Cillit Bang fame – that was reportedly the worst-reviewed movie in the history of the Metacritic review aggregation website. 
 
And who can look at the Global Honorary Board of the Ischia film festival without being impressed? Oliver Stone, Vanessa Redgrave, Terry Gilliam, Stephen Frears, John Boorman, Monica Belluci, Harvey Weinstein, Forest Whitaker, Samuel L Jackson – not to mention Sting. Lost in Showbiz cannot help but hope that they were all personally involved in the decision to award Lohan the Comeback of the Year award. 
 
It imagines, say, Whitaker, Boorman and Redgrave in a screening room, rising as one to give a standing ovation to Scary Movie 5 and Barry from Cillit Bang's satirical comedy, pausing to wipe away a tear at the sight of an embattled actor back at the top of her game. And yet, judging from the reports in the British press, you'd think that never happened. What a world.

Lindsay Lohan is falling over herself to collect her comeback award

The press has speculated about what caused the actor to fall over at the Ischia film festival. Perhaps it was the surprise of being recognis...

Kim Kardashian probably won't make $85m from her mobile game this year

<center><img alt="Kim Kardashian probably won't make $85m from her mobile game this year" src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/7/17/1405597000472/99ed7837-a83c-46cb-907b-fbb4fe4cb6ee-460x276.jpeg" width="650" /></center>Kim Kardashian's income in 2013 was $28m according to Forbes, which is a pretty startling statistic. But not as startling as claims this week that the reality TV star could earn $85m in 2014 from her official mobile game alone. 
 
Celebrity news website TMZ is the source for the latter number, claiming that Kardashian will get 45% of the net profits for Kim Kardashian: Hollywood, which was released for Android and iOS in late June. 
 
TMZ's sources on the terms Kardashian's business contracts are likely to be strong, but the $85m figure is still based on speculative maths, to say the least. 
 
 "The game – Kim Kardashian: Hollywood – is set to gross a reported $200 million this year alone. We're told the actual expenses associated with the business are relatively low. A straight 45% cut of $200 million totals a whopping $90 million. Industry sources tell TMZ ... expenses would not exceed $10 million. 
 
 So ... we're no mathematicians, but 45% of $190 million is $85.5 MILLION FREAKING DOLLARS." 
 
It's logical enough, but note the "reported $200 million this year alone" figure. This is drawn from a report by Bloomberg last week, and an estimate from a single analyst – Cowen & Co's Douglas Creutz – that the game's annual revenues may reach $200m. 
 
Not this year, then – annual revenues of $200m would suggest a little under $100m for the game in 2014 – so more like $40.5m for Kim, which is still a mightily-big number. 
 
The game is certainly proving popular and lucrative. At the time of writing, it's the fifth top-grossing iPhone app in the US, albeit 22nd in the same rankings for iPad. 
 
In the UK, it's third and 13th respectively on those charts. It's firmly inside the top 10 grossing Android apps too in both countries. 
 
The game's publisher, Glu Mobile, provided its shareholders with a trading update yesterday (16 July) announcing that not only had Kim Kardashian: Hollywood beaten its previous single-day revenue from a single game (Deer Hunter 2014), but that it had beaten that record in 16 of the last 18 days. 
 
(Glu hasn't given the actual figures involved, but as a guide, Deer Hunter 2014 averaged $304k a day in the last quarter of 2013, and $191k a day in the first quarter of 2014. Its single-day revenue record will be higher than the first of those figures, then.) 
 
<img alt="Kim Kardashian: Hollywood. Kim Kardashian: Hollywood." src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/7/17/1405600270575/4c027b6e-45da-45df-adbf-cf9a1cfe100b-460x345.jpeg" width="650"> 
 
To make $200m in a year, Kim Kardashian: Hollywood would need average daily revenues of $548k. That's certainly not a ridiculous goal: one of the top mobile games publishers, Supercell, averaged $2.44m a day in 2013 when it only had two games available. 
 
So yes, Kim Kardashian is making a lot of money from her official mobile game, but no, she's extremely unlikely to trouser $85m from it this year: based on its release date of 25 June, it would have to average just over $1m a day for the rest of the year to make that magic $200m. 
 
But the fact remains that all this speculation is based on a single big number said in an interview by a single analyst at a time when Kim Kardashian: Hollywood had only been out for 15 days. 
 
Games can have long runs in the upper reaches of the app store top grossing charts: Clash of Clans has been out for 314 days, Candy Crush Saga for 609 days, Minecraft for 971 days, and Zynga Poker for 1,313 days, for example, and they're all still making lots of money. 
 
But games can fall away too: if Glu doesn't update Kim's game often enough, or if it releases an update that annoys many of its players, or if something comes along that they're more interested in... 
 
Suffice to say, whatever happens with the game, Kim will end 2015 being really, really rich. It's just that it's far too early to tell how many MILLION FREAKING DOLLARS her mobile game will contribute to that fortune.

Kim Kardashian probably won't make $85m from her mobile game this year

Kim Kardashian's income in 2013 was $28m according to Forbes, which is a pretty startling statistic. But not as startling as claims this...

From private passions to sexting: how Britain's sex life has gone public

<center><img alt="From private passions to sexting: how Britain's sex life has gone public" src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/About/General/2014/8/2/1406984881959/Jason-Segel-and-Cameron-D-011.jpg" width="650" /></center>The Joy of Sex, edited by Dr Alex Comfort, was billed as the first richly illustrated "cordon bleu" lovemaking manual, for "sex that works". It was divided into Starters, Main Courses, Sauces and Pickles, followed by Problems (including "waterworks" and bisexuality). It promised to show "the novice how to tackle a live lobster". First published in 1972, it sold in millions and, no doubt, will sell again, as the book now carries a bright red sticker: "As seen in the movie Sex Tape." 
 
The comedy, released in the autumn, stars Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel, as a couple with children and no sex life. They pick up a copy of the book, try out various positions and make a film, which the husband then accidentally syncs to a number of iPads which they try to retrieve, leading to episodes of blackmail and robbery. 
 
It's a neat parody of how our private carnal world is now a narcissistic public playtime with no established rules and boundaries. 
 
The confusions, contradictions and inclination to moral panic of this coming together of sex and technology, at a time when for many the traditional restraints on behaviour provided by church, state (patrolling, for instance, homosexual life), and a clear moral consensus have dissolved, is strongly reflected in the uncertainty around how to police female behaviour (a preoccupation for hundreds of years), cyber-safety and sexual activity. 
 
Criminal sanctions were recently proposed on "revenge porn", in which a person releases online explicit images of a former partner without his or her consent. Last month a 17-year-old in the US state of Virginia, who sent his 15-year-old girlfriend a picture of his aroused penis, was arrested for "sexting". In one survey of 1,280 teenage girls and young adults for US Cosmogirl, 20% of 13- to 20-year-olds and 33% of those aged 20 to 26 said they had sent nude or semi-nude images electronically. One survey does not flag up a trend (or moral degeneration for that matter), but potentially that is an awful lot of young people to criminalise for what is arguably, in many cases, a modernised version of playing doctors and nurses. 
 
Concurrently, in these unpredictable sexual times, there are frequent throwbacks to the 1950s, when "nice" girls didn't, and innocence/ignorance was the prerequisite, either simulated or real, of the virginal bride. Last week Turkey's deputy prime minister, Bulent Arinc, said women should not laugh in public. "Chastity is so important … it's an ornament for women," he said to global titters. 
 
So what are we to make of it all? How far have we really travelled in the 40 years since The Joy of Sex appeared, long before the arrival of Aids? Indeed, in these contradictory times – Tesco withdrawing pole-dancing kits for little girls even as the campaign against female genital mutilation finally gathers pace – and amid the maelstrom of influences that include faith, culture, individualism and the commodification of all experiences, is progress possible to detect, never mind map? 
 
The National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles has been published every 10 years since 1990. According to the latest survey, teenagers have sex on average for the first time just before they turn 17 and the number of partners for all, on average, is relatively modest. Oral sex has grown in popularity, but anal sex is still a minority interest. More than 60% said they were satisfied with their sex lives that now, unsurprisingly, continue into older age. Sodom and Gomorrah this isn't. 
 
The Joy of Sex was published several years after the arrival of so-called "free love". The Pill had made contraception a female responsibility; legalised abortion had limited shotgun marriages; and homosexuality was no longer a crime. Men could have sex without strings; young women were expected to comply or risk being called frigid. But sleep around too much and then, as now, a young female could earn the label of slag. 
 
"The double standard still exists," says Sharon, 33, a photographer and a lesbian, who lives in Brighton. "Women are still judged negatively by how they dress and appear. Gender and sexuality is much more fluid in Brighton, but I wouldn't hold my partner's hand in much of the rest of the country." 
 
Ideas about women remain quaint. Thirty-five years after Roth's Portnoy's Complaint, for instance, Caitlin Moran's novel, How to Build a Girl, has a heroine who masturbates. "It takes a long time for real change to happen," says Dr Rebecca Langlands of Exeter University, author of Sexual Morality in Ancient Rome. "In the 1960s and 70s, sexual liberation was largely about male pleasure. Female sex drive and pleasure has mainly been left out of the story so far." 
 
In a moving book, Sex Before the Sexual Revolution, Professor Kate Fisher and Simon Szreter talked to people who had married in the 1930s, 40s and 50s. Lack of knowledge, shame, ignorance and fear existed, but there was joy, affection and pleasure there too, Fisher says – sex as part of a much bigger picture to do with mutuality, caring and sharing. "I didn't find that people were very inhibited and crippled by no sex education," she says. 
 
Felicity, born in 1919, wife of a claims assessor, for instance, says of sex: "They do say it's the most important and the least important thing." Fisher writes: "Some of our respondents did not find themselves enjoying sex despite their 'inhibited' and private culture but rather because of it." 
 
Today privacy is a luxury. Sexual activity, changing partners and exhibitionism seems to crowd the centre stage. One of the national survey's darker statistics is that one in 77 men and one in 10 women have had non-volitional sex. TV presenter Kirsty Wark is among critics who say access to porn risks reshaping expectations and any understanding of intimacy. 
 
"The Joy of Sex normalised sex because the couple looked like they could live down the road," says Christina Fraser, a therapist with Coupleworks. "Porn has created ridiculous expectations and the hairless dolly. Sex should be about empowerment, not the opposite. Intimacy is about an authentic relationship and, following the gourmet analogy, while sex can be the occasional exotic treat, regular cheese on toast has its place, too." 
 
"Most parents are worried about what their children are learning in the playground and from the internet, and they think schools are doing more than they are," says Simon Blake of Brook, which advises the under-25s on sex and relationships and is now in its 50th year. "It's ridiculous that sex and relationship education is still not compulsory. At the same time, we have to take care that that whole conversation around sex isn't about abuse, exploitation and harm. We need to say this is what a good relationship looks like with a determined focus on gender equality. We need to say, 'Only have sex when you can enjoy it and take responsibility'." 
 
Prompting debate around such issues is the Sex and History Project, a new award-winning project, established by Kate Fisher and Rebecca Langlands. It uses historical sexual objects – a ring with metal teeth to deter masturbation; an 18th-century chastity belt – to trigger discussion. "They often see these objects as 'cool' and it starts them thinking about how sex is controlled and whether it needs to be controlled," Langlands says. 
 
"In the classroom, teenagers are intrigued by these objects and start talking about why people feel the need to control sex and what it reveals about underlying attitudes towards gender and sexuality," she says. A group of sixth-formers were looking at a 19th-century Chinese portrait of a woman's genitalia. "It was beautiful,but one pupil's reaction was, 'She's got so many pubes – that's disgusting.' So we had a discussion about where that attitude comes from and how other cultures think differently." 
 
Studies tell us "risky" sexual behaviour is often associated with low self-esteem, few aspirations, little income and poor education. Fix that – and the sexual health and wellbeing of the country might improve considerably; the earth will move. 
 
Professor Andrew Oswald, a researcher into happiness, co-wrote a 2004 study, which is still relevant today, he says. It indicates that the married have 30% more sex than the single, widowed and divorced – they are happiest with one partner and that happiness equates to receiving an extra $100,000 each a year. Odds on, that is not what the experimental Comfort would have predicted.

From private passions to sexting: how Britain's sex life has gone public

The Joy of Sex, edited by Dr Alex Comfort, was billed as the first richly illustrated "cordon bleu" lovemaking manual, for "s...

Ed Sheeran joins Facebook's VIP-only Mentions app

<center><img alt="Ed Sheeran " src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/7/28/1406565054122/ed-sheeran-011.jpg" width="650" /></center>Urban music sensation Ed Sheeran is the first Brit to have received an invite to Facebook's version of the VIP area: Mentions, the celebrities-only Facebook app. The Suffolk-born singer-songwriter now stands alongside the likes of Mariah Carey, Arianna Huffington and Kim Kardashian. 
 
Mentions, open only to "actors, athletes, musicians and other influencers", allows celebrities to see messages and shares relating to them and reply, as well as post updates and take part in live chats. They also won't be plagued by ads, newsfeed spam or BuzzFeed quizzes imploring them to find out what sort of soup they are. A cynic might wonder if Facebook had spotted Twitter cornering the "chatting directly with celebrities" market and responded by giving them their very own "reply to your fans" app. 
 
So, are you famous enough for Mentions? Only invited celebrities with pages verified by Facebook in the US can post. (They plan to launch the service in more countries in the "near future".) Public figures can download Mentions and request access, but it's very much a "don't call us, we'll call you" membership, which Facebook says it will limit to "a few thousand" people. 
 
It may be regretting inviting William Shatner, though, after the actor posted a grumpy review on his Tumblr when the app invited him to follow former Star Trek co-star George Takei. Clearly it had not been briefed about the pair's long-standing feud. 
 
Shatner also took umbrage with the fact that members must follow other celebrities in order to set up the app. "I think that is a flaw," he said. "I'm already following those who I want to follow – why insist I follow that short list of others?" We're with you, Mr Shatner. That sounds absolutely awful. You have our not-at-all-sarcastic pity for this grave injustice. 
 
• This article was amended on 29 July 2014. The original stated that any Facebook user could download the Mentions app. This has been corrected. The article was further amended on 1 August 2014 to remove comments that were reported to have come from Ed Sheeran's spokesman but were found to be incorrect.

Ed Sheeran joins Facebook's VIP-only Mentions app

Urban music sensation Ed Sheeran is the first Brit to have received an invite to Facebook's version of the VIP area: Mentions, the celeb...

Orlando Bloom v Justin Bieber: history's most pathetic celebrity scuffle

<center><img alt="Orlando Bloom v Justin Bieber: history's most pathetic celebrity scuffle" src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/8/1/1406891909235/Justin-Beiber-v-Orlando-B-009.jpg" width="650" /></center> 
 
It's the question that has divided the world. Permanently destroyed friendships. Condemned families to generations of icily silent Christmas dinners together. The question, the all-important question, is this: are you Team Orlando Bloom or Team Justin Bieber? 
 
After gossip site TMZ released a grainy, rubbernecking video of Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber engaging in some minor-level fisticuffs at a restaurant in Ibiza this week, people have been lining up to proudly state their allegiances. On Team Bloom is James Franco, who came out in support of his fellow actor on the US satire show The Colbert Report this week; and Leonardo DiCaprio, who allegedly cheered Bloom on from his table inside the restaurant. And on Team Bieber is ... 
 
Well, fine, nobody's on Team Bieber. Why would they be? Bieber, who is rumoured to have got close to Bloom's then-wife Miranda Kerr in 2012, appeared to instigate the restaurant fight by yelling "What's up, bitch?", and then immediately scarpered away to Instagram photos of Kerr wearing a bikini and Bloom crying. It's crystalline obnoxiousness. It's gold-plated villainy. 
 
To borrow a well-worn Guardian phrase, Justin Bieber is peak brat. 
 
But you have to pick a side, because the stakes couldn't be higher for either of them. Orlando Bloom is fighting for nothing less than his dignity, and Justin Bieber is fighting for the bragging rights to say that he's marginally tougher than the Helen Flanagan look-alike from The Hobbit. 
 
Most importantly, they're both fighting to salvage their waning careers. Justin Bieber hasn't released a truly popular song since the one about babies that he recorded back when he looked like a foetus sitting underneath an Afghan Hound, and Orlando Bloom knows that his career will all but dry up as soon as Peter Jackson runs out of ways to wring JRR Tolkien's corpse dry. 
 
In that respect, their fight has an unmistakably tragic Whatever Happened to Baby Jane quality to it. It's hard to think of a more pathetic celebrity scuffle. Perhaps the only real precedent is the fight that took place between Kid Rock and Motley Crue's Tommy Lee at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards over Pamela Anderson, to whom they were both at one time married. Like Bloom v Bieber, it was a scrappy, embarrassing almost-fight between two preening dunderheads whose best days are behind them. And, like Bloom v Bieber, nobody won. Especially not humanity.

Orlando Bloom v Justin Bieber: history's most pathetic celebrity scuffle

It's the question that has divided the world. Permanently destroyed friendships. Condemned families to generations of icily silent Chr...

I was Victoria Beckham’s ghost

<center><img alt="I was Victoria Beckham’s ghost" src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/8/1/1406907901412/Ewan-McGregor-in-The-Ghos-011.jpg" width="650" /></center>Taran-tara! A book is being published this month, and it has already attracted the kind of publicity that would make a JK Rowling novel look unheralded. Admittedly, the author is very prolific, having written more than 80 books, which have sold more than 10 million copies. And yet you’ve never heard of him, which is precisely why he’s getting so much attention. 
 
That goes against the grain not just of the modern publishing industry, where only writers who already get media coverage get more media coverage, but of this particular author’s entire career. Because this book, you see, is called Confessions of a Ghostwriter, and it was written by a chap called Andrew Crofts, who has built a career on writing books for people more famous than himself. 
 
You’d think it was the first time a ghostwriter had ever revealed their corporeal form, but it’s not even the first time this decade. Robert Harris mined this fascination in The Ghost, in which the characters were ghosts of Harris himself and Tony Blair. Roman Polanski then made it into a film that, despite being a melange of confused accents (every single actor is speaking in an accent other than their own – and, boy, you don’t forget it), was his most enjoyable movie for years. Jennie Erdal wrote hilariously about her time as a ghostwriter for Naim Attallah, a London publisher who is usually described as “larger than life” which is invariably a euphemism for “a pain in the arse”. Much hay is always made of what the rise of ghostwriters says about the state of publishing and people’s reading habits (short answer: nothing good). More telling, though, is the interest in ghostwriters themselves. 
 
I find this interest amusing, partly because it’s treated as a more cerebral way of admitting that what you’re actually interested in is fame. So meta, you see. But the main reason I find it amusing is because I have been in the ghostwriting game – and that is, by some measure, the only thing I’ve done in my life that anyone is interested in. When I was 26 I got a call from my agent, the now sadly late Kate Jones asking if I would help a certain celebrity write a fashion guide. As I was then the deputy fashion editor of the Guardian, this didn’t seem too wildly beyond my capabilities. Plus, I needed the money. So I asked who the celebrity was. “Victoria Beckham,” she replied. And we both burst into giggles. By the end of the week I was officially signed up to be what was described as “Victoria’s co-writer”. 
 
Like most ghostwriters or “co-writers”, I had to sign a confidentiality agreement in my own blood, so I won’t be able to share stories about the Beckhams’ regular animal sacrifices or reveal that David is actually a giant hologram projected out of Simon Fuller’s brain. But I can tell you what it’s like to be a ghostwriter. And what it is is boring. This is no slur on the Beckhams, who were extremely sweet to me and extraordinarily patient with my absolute ignorance of football. After the book was done, they invited me to a dinner with, as Victoria put it, “some of David’s friends”. This turned out to be pretty much every major international football player at the time, not that I had a clue who any of them were. I like to think that Zinedine Zidane was more charmed than insulted when I asked him what he did for work. 
 
There are many boring things about being a ghostwriter, and only one of them is that you’re writing in someone else’s voice, which is a very weird thing to do. The really boring thing is that you’re living with famous people, and famous people lead very boring lives. They are trapped by their own fame, unable to go anywhere without it being some kind of ordeal. The Beckhams themselves seemed perfectly happy, mainly because they have each other. But famous people are watched now to a degree they never were before, and so can get away with less. It’s hilarious that fame has become the ultimate currency of our age, the thing that is now given as a prize on TV game shows instead of money, because being famous has never been more boring. All those people who compete so desperately on The X Factor should spend just a day with a really famous person and see if what they think they want is what they actually want. 
 
I’ve since been asked to ghost a few other books but I lack the capacity for self-surrender, so I always say no. But not a week has gone by since without someone asking me about it. That ghostwriters exist proves we live in an era obsessed with fame; that people are interested in ghostwriters proves how ridiculous this obsession is.

I was Victoria Beckham’s ghost

Taran-tara! A book is being published this month, and it has already attracted the kind of publicity that would make a JK Rowling novel look...

Why do we grieve for dead celebrities?

<img alt="Princess Diana" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn2y83K9BFTEgTeoxIjuYrLMqaqk3K1JUSlud8LwDU1Y8IpvWYpjLbuuhFeE9_LwOasPb71bcyWqUAUrXEhFxo8RycL6NHf6l4fGMEd7EHKGR8VIyvHycpUwBEqsv2n_ctsUcMPT-38g0/s1600/diana-princess-of-wales-by-mario-testino-at-kensington-palace-8.jpg" width="620" /> 
 
It wasn't that I cared a whole lot about Princess Diana, or that I was particularly sad when she died. It was that I drove around London that night with my mum, through the crowds of red-eyed strangers in their jackets, and I smelled the flowers. Do you remember? They were piled up in the places she'd stayed like bonfires, higher than people, and the whole city was like a scented candle. The petrol stations had signs up saying they'd sold out of bouquets. And in that smog of roses I understood, suddenly, that each of these people, strangers to the woman, were honestly and deeply affected by her death. But in the same moment I felt sad for them, I felt sort of mortified, too. Were their lives so lacking in emotion that they found it here, on a pavement, on the very edge of their realities? 
 
You see it today on Twitter, that first rush of celebrity RIPs – a mixture of shock, of competition, people rushing to report it first, and in between it all, the people who feel truly bruised by the loss. Not because they knew them, and not because they played a part in their lives – her song was not the first dance at their wedding, for instance; her face was not tattooed on their shin – but because something about her story reminded them of something about theirs. And she was a person, and so are they. 
 
Sitting in the car park of a pick-your-own strawberry farm hours after Amy Winehouse's body has been found. Getting a text late at night about Lux Interior, about Philip Seymour Hoffman. Occasionally the bruisy feeling when you hear is due to their talent, due to them being cut off in their prime, but more often it's not. More often it's less tangible. A gulp. Brittany Murphy. Cory Monteith. We all have a celebrity death that hurts us and makes us feel something, even if, as we're feeling it, we're embarrassed for feeling it. As if our twice-removed cousin of pain might be insulting to the family of the deceased, as if we don't have a right. What are the rules to our reactions? 
 
When L'Wren Scott died, I pored over the Samaritans guidelines on reporting suicide. They concentrate on the avoidance of words and details that will prompt readers to identify too closely with the deceased. You should not, for instance, speculate on their reasons for wanting to die. You should not describe the methods used. But even in the best, most sensitively reported stories, a certain level of identification occurs. The guidelines on reporting the way we feel upon hearing of the death of a person we know only from the party pages are far less clear. 
 
Am I allowed to feel like this? That's what I keep wanting to ask. Am I allowed to want to talk about it, and read about it, and worry about her friends? And pause weeks later and feel doleful before realising why – a stranger died 3,000 miles away. To feel the imagined grief of their partner, distorted through paparazzi pictures, a reflection of a reflection. 
 
The worry is that we're self-identifying, and making a stranger's death all about us. Projecting our own little concerns on to the blankness of a screen. The worry is that it reveals our own emptiness, our desperation for a feeling or thrown scrap of one. Or that we are so porous and sad that a stranger's experiences is enough to topple us. Either way, it's embarrassing. It's undignified. And yet it keeps on happening. 
 
Are we practising? Using celebrities like dolls to play out the way we might feel when we lose the people we actually love? Is our obsession with the deaths of beautiful people, our compulsive consumption of stories about their final days, a way of preparing for real feelings, real loss? All those flowers in Kensington. All those RIPs.

Why do we grieve for dead celebrities?

It wasn't that I cared a whole lot about Princess Diana, or that I was particularly sad when she died. It was that I drove around Lond...

Kim Kardashian Reunites With Paris Hilton

<img alt="Kim Kardashian Reunites With Paris Hilton" src="http://assets-s3.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/76008-kim-kardashian-reunites-paris-hilton-laughing-picture/1407071730_paris-hilton-kim-kardashian_1.jpg" width="620" /> 
 
It seems Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are living a feud-free, simple life these days. The reality stars, both 33, reunited in Ibiza, Spain, on Saturday, Aug. 2 at designer Riccardo Tisci's birthday party, and appeared to pick up where they'd left off. 
 
"Reminiscing about the 1st time we went to Ibiza in 2006! @parishilton it was so good to see you & catch up!! Loves it lol," North West's mommy captioned the Instagram shot. 
 
Long before she became the world's biggest reality star, Kardashian was Hilton's assistant during her time on the hit reality show The Simple Life, and the childhood pals were inseparable for years. But in 2008, the notoriously opinionated blonde mocked her pal's curvaceous backside in a radio interview, comparing it to "cottage cheese inside a big trash bag." 
 
Since then they haven't been spotted together, despite Hilton issuing a formal apology. Earlier this month, the heiress played on the same charity kick ball team as Kardashian's younger half sister Kendall Jenner, and they were photographed laughing together. 
 
Tell Us: Do you think Kim and Paris will be besties again?

Kim Kardashian Reunites With Paris Hilton

It seems Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are living a feud-free, simple life these days. The reality stars, both 33, reunited in Ibiza, Sp...

Zac Efron, Michelle Rodriguez Amp Up the PDA in Ibiza: Pictures

<img alt="Zac Efron, Michelle Rodriguez Amp Up the PDA in Ibiza: Pictures" src="http://assets-s3.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/76012-zac-efron-michelle-rodriguez-pda-ibiza-pictures/1407081766_michelle-rodriguez-zac-efron_1.jpg" width="620" /> 
 
Still going strong! After reuniting in Ibiza, Spain, on Thursday, July 31, Zac Efron and his new flame Michelle Rodriguez had no problem turning up the PDA on the beach of the Mediterranean island on Saturday, Aug. 2. 
 
The pair were spotted playing in the water, walking the beach, and cuddling on a yacht offshore. Both showed off their impressive bodies, Rodriguez, 36, in a tiny black bikini and Efron, 26, going shirtless while riding on a jet ski. 
 
When it came time to dry off, the Fast & Furious 7 star wore baggy yellow pants, a comfy tank top, and a SpongeBob SquarePants beanie. Efron slipped into a basketball jersey and ripped jeans, holding his new squeeze tight. 
 
This is the pair's latest far-flung getaway. They were first photographed kissing and riding on horseback in Sardinia, Italy as guests of Gianluca Vacchi in early July, and Efron was spotted leaving Rodriguez's Los Angeles house after a wild night out on July 20. 
 
"Zac and Michelle have great chemistry," an insider tells Us Weekly of the unexpected twosome. "They have a lot to talk about, a lot in common. They're having fun and it’s deeper than a friends with benefits situation. I don't know what their long-term plans are but they're close and I think they'll make effort to spend more time with each other over the coming months."

Zac Efron, Michelle Rodriguez Amp Up the PDA in Ibiza: Pictures

Still going strong! After reuniting in Ibiza, Spain, on Thursday, July 31, Zac Efron and his new flame Michelle Rodriguez had no problem t...

Lea Michele, New Boyfriend Matthew Paetz Hold Hands During Hike

<img alt="Lea Michele, New Boyfriend Matthew Paetz Hold Hands During Hike" src="http://assets-s3.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/76015-lea-michele-new-boyfriend-matthew-paetz-hiking-picture/1407094554_lea-michele-boyfriend_1.jpg" width="620" /> 
 
The couple that exercises together, stays together! Lea Michele stepped out with her new boyfriend Matthew Paetz on Saturday, Aug. 2, looking fit and in love. 
 
PHOTOS: Lea Michele and Cory Monteith's romance 
 
The pair held hands while hiking in Los Angeles' Runyon Canyon Park; the Glee star wore a white tank top and black leggings and her new beau sported an all-black ensemble. 
 
PHOTOS: Lea Michele's red carpet style 
 
Michele, 27, and Paetz met on the set of the recording artist's "On My Way" music video this spring. The model accompanied the former Broadway star to Capri, Italy in mid-July for a romantic getaway. 
 
PHOTOS: Celebrity workout buddies 
 
"It's still very new, but they are enjoying each other's company," a source close to the actress tells Us Weekly. "Lea's not stupid, so she's not jumping into anything. So far, it's an honest and happy relationship. Whatever his past may be, their current relationship is based on honesty."

Lea Michele, New Boyfriend Matthew Paetz Hold Hands During Hike

The couple that exercises together, stays together! Lea Michele stepped out with her new boyfriend Matthew Paetz on Saturday, Aug. 2, look...

Gisele Bundchen Celebrates Tom Brady's Birthday With Steamy Makeout Picture

<img alt="Gisele Bundchen Celebrates Tom Brady's Birthday With Steamy Makeout Picture" src="http://assets-s3.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/76016-gisele-bundchen-tom-brady-birthday-makeout-picture/1407098304_tom-brady-gisele-bundchen-kiss_1.jpg" width="620" /> 
 
Tom Brady is one lucky birthday boy! The New England Patriots quarterback turned 37 on Sunday, Aug. 3, and his supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen celebrated in a big way. 
 
PHOTOS: Tom and Gisele's most romantic moments 
 
"Happy birthday my love! Missing you so much... Te amo!!! Feliz aniversário meu amor! Estou com muita saudade... Te amo!!!" she captioned a sexy picture of the couple making out. 
 
PHOTOS: Celebs dating athletes 
 
In the snap, the Brazilian stunner's long wavy locks cascaded down her back as her hubby wrapped her in a tight embrace. 
 
PHOTOS: Supermodels, then and now 
 
Bundchen, 34, and Brady married in February 2009, and welcomed their son Benjamin that December. Two years later their daughter Vivian was born.

Gisele Bundchen Celebrates Tom Brady's Birthday With Steamy Makeout Picture

Tom Brady is one lucky birthday boy! The New England Patriots quarterback turned 37 on Sunday, Aug. 3, and his supermodel wife Gisele Bund...

Hayden Panettiere Bares Pregnant Baby Bump in Bikini

<img alt="Hayden Panettiere Bares Pregnant Baby Bump in Bikini" src="http://assets-s3.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/76019-hayden-panettiere-pregnant-baby-bump-bikini-top-stories/1407107967_hayden-panettiere-chloe-grace-moretz_1.jpg" width="620" /> 
 
The stars were out in a big way this weekend! Pregnant Hayden Panettiere wore a bikini on the beach in Miami with fiance Wladimir Klitschko. Plus, Chloe Grace Moretz and Brooklyn Beckham are officially dating. Check out this weekend's top stories! 
 
1. Hayden Panettiere Bares Pregnant Baby Bump in Bikini During Getaway With Fiance Wladimir Klitschko: Pictures 
 
Hello, Hayden! Pregnant Hayden Panettiere bared her growing baby bump with her fiance Wladimir Klitschko by her side during a beach outing in Miami, Fla., on Friday, Aug 1. 
 
2. Chloe Grace Moretz Is Dating Brooklyn Beckham: "They Were Each Others' Crush" 
 
Chloe Grace Moretz has Beckham fever! The If I Stay actress is dating Brooklyn Beckham, David and Victoria Beckham's eldest son, a source confirms to Us Weekly. 
 
3. Kim Kardashian Posts Picture of Kanye West Sleeping in Ibiza, Jokes Her Husband Has "Side Chicks" 
 
Time for bed! Before hitting the lights, Kim Kardashian posted a picture of her husband Kanye West sleeping in bed via Instagram on Saturday, Aug. 2. The couple—joined by several other Kardashian family members—just returned from a night out partying in Ibiza, Spain. 
 
4. Anna Paquin Educates Larry King on Bisexuality: "I Don't Think It's a Past Tense Thing" 
 
You go, Sookie! True Blood's Anna Paquin has been facing questions about her sexuality for years. The mother of twins Charlie and Poppy, both 22 months, has been married to her HBO costar Stephen Moyer since August 2010, and self-identifies as bisexual. 
 
5. Alanis Morissette Posts Breastfeeding Throwback Picture With Son Ever 
 
Nursing rocks! Alanis Morissette let it all hang out in honor of World Breastfeeding Week on Saturday, Aug. 2. The rocker, 40, posted a throwback picture with her son Ever, now 3, breastfeeding during his infancy.

Hayden Panettiere Bares Pregnant Baby Bump in Bikini

The stars were out in a big way this weekend! Pregnant Hayden Panettiere wore a bikini on the beach in Miami with fiance Wladimir Klitschk...

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